Resources
Addictions
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw (2005)
Out of the Shadows: Understand Sex Addiction (2001) & In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior (2007) by Patrick Carnes
Divine Therapy and Addiction: Centering Prayer and The Twelve Steps by Thomas Keating (2011)
Healing Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Mark Laaser, Gary Smalley and Patrick Carnes (2004)
In the realm of hungry ghosts: close encounters with addicton -Gabor Mate (2008)
Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions by Gerald May (2007)
Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps by Richard Rohr (2011)
Prodependence: moving beyond codependency- Robert Weiss (2018)
Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz (1990)
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey (2005)
Healing ADD Revised Edition: The breakthrough Program That Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD by Daniel Amen (2013)
You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo (2006).
Dr. Daniel Amen’s research comes from over 86,000 SPECT brain imagining scans, identifying seven different types of ADD. Below is a link for self test based on his research. I do not have any affiliation with his materials or clinics.
Websites
Affairrecovery.com
ADDitudemag.com
Dirty Laundry: Why adults with ADHD are so ashamed and what we can do to help- Roxanne Emery and Richard Pink
Attachment Style Quiz
Research has identified 4 attachment styles. This can be helpful to understand oneself and relational challenges. Dr. Diane Poole Heller researches and trains therapists in an attachment based therapy and has made a research based attachment style quiz on her website.
Christian Spirituality
Self Care: A Theology of Personal Empowerment & Spiritual Healing by Ray Anderson (1989)
The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self Discovery by David Benner (2004)
The Human Condition: Contemplation and Transformation (1999) and Open Mind, open Heart by Thomas Keating (1986)
The Inner Voice of Love (1999) and Here and Now (2006) by Henri Nouwen
How to Be An Adult: A Handbook for Psychological and Spiritual Integration by David Richo (1991)
Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr (2011)
What the Mystics Know by Richard Rohr (2015)
Immortal Diamond A Season for the Spirit: Readings for the Days of Lent by Martin Smith (2004)
Couples & Relationships
After the affair: healing the pain and rebuilding trust when a partner has been unfaithful Janis Abraham Spring (2012)
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman (2004)
Boundaries- Henry Cloud and John Townsend (2017)
Rules of Estrangement: why adult children cut ties and how to heal the conflict- Joshua Coleman (2021)
Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley Glass (2004)
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman (2000)
When Men Batter Women by Neil Jacobson and John Gottman (2007)
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Susan Johnson (2008)
The Dance of Anger: a woman’s guide to changing the patterns of intimate relationships- Harriet Lerner (1985)
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny (2008)
The New Rules of Marriage- Terry Real (2007)
How to Be an Adult in Relationships by David Richo (2000)
You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting for by Richard Schwartz (2006) – Can be ordered at Internal Family Systems website www.selfleadership.org, click on IFS Store
You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore: Turn your resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive relationship into a compassionate, loving one by Steven Stosny (2006)
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking erotic intelligence- Esther Perel
I don’t want to talk about it: overcoming the secret legacy of male depression- Terry Real
The new Rules of Marriage- Terry Real
Us: getting past you and me to build a more loving relationship- Terry Real
Disarming the narcissist, (3rd edition)- Wendy Behary
Dating & Mate Selection
Falling in Love for all the Right Reasons: How to find your soul mate by Dr. Neil Clark Warren (2005)
Finding the Love of your Life: Ten principles for choosing the right marriage partner by Dr. Neil Clark Warren (1992)
Grief & Loss
How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, and Peter McWilliams (1976)
A Grace Disguised: how the soul grows through loss by Jerry Sittser (1995) Christian perspective
Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst (1986)
Health & Wellness
Use Your Brain to Change Your Age by Daniel Amen (2012)
The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect us from Violence by Gavin DeBecker (1997)
Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation by Daniel Siegal (2010)
Parenting
The Highly Sensitive Child: helping our children thrive when the world overwhelms them - Elaine Aron (2002)
A Good Enough Parent: A Book on Child-Rearing by Bruno Bettelheim (1987)
The Irreducible Needs of Children: What Every Child Must Have to Grow, Learn, and Flourish by Berry Brazelton & Stanley Greenspan (2000)
Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children by Jen Clarke & Connie Dawson (1989)
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting by John Gottman, Joan Declaire, and Daniel Goleman (1998)
Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children by Daniel Siegal and Mary Hartzell (2004)
General Books
The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron (1997) – She also has a website with a self assessment for sensitivity www.hsperson.com
Boundaries for your soul: how to turn your overwhelming thoughts and feelings into your greatest allies- Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller
Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types (Myers-Briggs) by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates (1978)
Too Loud Too Bright Too Fast Too Tight: What to do if you are sensory defensive in an overstimulating world by Sharon Heller (2002)
Loving what is: four questions that can change your life- Byron Katie (2002)
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason & Randi Kreger (2010)
The myth of normal: trauma, illness and healing in a toxic culture- Gabor Mate (2022)
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition by Alice Miller (1996, original 1980)
The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor Payson (2002)
The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values & Spiritual Growth (1972)
People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil (1998) by Scott Peck
The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The complete guide to psychological and spiritual growth for the nine personality types (1999)
Understanding the Enneagram: the practical guide to personality types- Don Riso and Russ Hudson (2000)
The New Peoplemaking by Virginia Satir (1988, original 1972)
The Power of Now: a guide to spiritual enlightenment- Eckhart Tolle (1999)
Suicide
Choosing to Live: How to Defeat Suicide Through Cognitive Therapy by Thomas Ellis and Cory Newman (1996)
Trauma & Abuse
The Wounded Heart: Hope for adult victims of childhood sexual abuse- Dan Allender (1990), Christian perspective
Trauma and Recovery: the aftermath of violence- from domestic abuse to political terror- Judith Herman (1992)
The Body Keeps the Score: brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma- Bessel van der Kolk (2014)
Waking the Tiger- Peter Levine (1997)
Trauma & Resilience: A Handbook Eds. Frauke & Charlie Schaefer, (2012), Christian perspective.
